Fox News Says the Moon Is Made of Cream Cheese

Fox News, backed up by its celebrity hosts, recently reported that the moon is made of cream cheese. Recognizing Fox as the leader among conservative television networks, One America News and Newsmax quickly followed. Conservative radio talk show hosts and websites confirmed the declaration.

The Trump-Pence administration immediately announced a joint operation by the Space Force, NASA and SpaceX to mine the moon for its immense supply of cream cheese. Conservatives nationwide voiced their support for the mining mission.

“The cost and risks of the mission are significant,” said Chuck Waggin, “but there’s so much cream cheese up there on the moon that bringing it back here to Earth is worth it. Otherwise, we’d have to keep shipping it across the country all the way from Philadelphia.”

“Cream cheese is one of my favorite foods,” said Betsy Wetsy. “It comes from cows. I mean it’s a dairy product. All those poor mommy cows giving up the milk that should go to their baby cows, it’s just not right. So if we can get it from the moon, I say that’s the better thing to do.”

“If you don’t homogenize milk, the cream in it rises to the top,” said Mark Miwords. “They have to produce a whole lot of milk to get a little bit of cream. Then they make cheese from the cream. It’s really inefficient. The ratio is way out of whack. So I say mining the moon’s cream cheese is a much better way to go.”

Preparation for the first cream cheese moon mission is under way. Expect the launch date announcement soon.