Encinitas Voters Respond to Local-National Election Pollster

Pollster Real Clear Polemics (RCP) surveyed Encinitas voters about one national and one local candidate. The national candidate is the Orange Dude, OD for short. The local candidate is Suburban Lawyer Action Mayor, SLAM for short. Some respondents gave RCP permission to publicize their comments.

“Although OD and SLAM look to be on opposite ends of the political spectrum,” said June Bugg, “their basics, the means they employ and their objectives are remarkably similar. They’re both power-mad egotists who appeal to a minority of voters and behave like dictators instead of democratic leaders. They respond only to praise and flattery, and ignore even light criticism and opposing views.”

“OD is bombastic and vengeful while SLAM is measured and comes across as accommodating,” said Cary Ahn. “OD’s motives are plain to see, while SLAM hides her real agenda. He’s out front, she’s stealth.”

“OD’s chances of winning are sinking daily,” said Nib Penn. “He’s in self-destruction mode. He doesn’t seem to realize his style is his worst enemy. It turns most people off. Here in April, I put SLAM’s chances at 50-50. I bet that as the campaign heats up, her record will catch up with her. She has a history of ignoring — even demeaning — voters. That doesn’t sit well. The campaign will expose her, and as long as her opponent has no skeletons in her closet and runs a good campaign, SLAM’s chances of being re-elected should sink.”

Encinitas Mayor Declares Devotion to Developers

For the sake of transparency and to make sure Encinitas voters understand where I’m coming from, I want to supplement what I’ve said in my happy-talk newsletters and in my Facebook posts and video sessions.

Like most Encinitans, I want to preserve and enhance our paradise. The way to do that is to encourage and permit more development.

We must comply with state housing laws. We must keep up with city employees’ pension payments. We must pay city employees’ salaries and benefits. We must pay city consultants. We must pay vendors who sell products and services to the city. We must pay bond interest and other financial obligations. We must continue capital improvement projects. The list goes on and on.

It all takes money. The city has two main sources of revenue: property taxes and sales taxes. Property taxes bring in well over three times as much as sales taxes. Sales tax revenues are projected to fall because of the coronavirus. Property taxes are stable.

To maintain solvency and keep up with the city’s financial obligations, we must increase property tax revenues. More development will do that.

People have said I’ve never known a developer or seen a development I didn’t like. That’s true and now you know why. I hereby declare my continuing devotion to developers.

“Announcing my Re-Election via Facebook Live”

“I’m confused,” said Cardiffian Carrie Owt. “It’s April, the election is in November, but she’s announcing she already won? And she’s doing it on Facebook? I don’t get it. She chose a pandemic time, a bad economic time, a flood time, asked for campaign donations and thinks people are ‘cozy’ at home? Is she disconnected from reality? Did she just arrive from another planet? What’s up with her?”

“She said, ‘Elections are how we resolve our values’,” said Olivenhainian Horace Trader. “Sounds like dime-store philosophy to me. I already know my values. My parents and grandparents bequeathed them to me. I imparted them to my children. They are good, solid, honest, kind, charitable values. I don’t sense the mayor shares them. She’s delusional. That doesn’t fit with my values.”

“Well, she was heavy on advice, on passing along her 44-year-old wisdom,” said New Encinitan Tract Holmes. “Wiki says she was born on Leap Year Day. Maybe that has something to do with her overconfident attitude. Anybody who celebrates a birthday every four years stands apart from others.”

“I get the same impression I used to get listening to Reagan,” said Leucadian Kant Cross. “She’s sincere. She believes her own bullshit. It’s an amazing thing. How convinced of your own virtue do you have to be to assume that other adults want your advice?”

“She’s done a good job keeping people informed about the virus,” said Old Encinitan Bote Houses. “I’ll give her that, but all her other accomplishment claims are bogus. She’s done the opposite of preserving and protecting Encinitas. She’s never seen a development she didn’t like. She’s never fought for the people. God save us from the queen.”

Surfing Madonna Arrested for Illegally Surfing in Encinitas

“Is this religious discrimination?” the Surfing Madonna said as lifeguards pulled her from the ocean near Moonlight Beach, confiscated her board and took her into detention. “Is it misogyny? Do you have something against goofy foots?” she challenged the guards. “I can see to it that your steps turn to stone!” she warned.

The Madonna does not see herself as violating beach closures and surfing bans during the coronavirus crisis.

“As a divine being,” said the Madonna, “I am immune to corporeal diseases. I cannot contract or transmit them. Therefore, there’s no danger to me or any mortals. The declaration against surfing does not apply to me. If the lifeguards insist, there could be wrath. The very least retribution would be banning them from Guadalupe Hot Springs.

“I would ask the city of Encinitas,” said the Madonna, “Who finds the money when you pay the rent? Did you think that money was heaven sent?”