“Announcing my Re-Election via Facebook Live”

“I’m confused,” said Cardiffian Carrie Owt. “It’s April, the election is in November, but she’s announcing she already won? And she’s doing it on Facebook? I don’t get it. She chose a pandemic time, a bad economic time, a flood time, asked for campaign donations and thinks people are ‘cozy’ at home? Is she disconnected from reality? Did she just arrive from another planet? What’s up with her?”

“She said, ‘Elections are how we resolve our values’,” said Olivenhainian Horace Trader. “Sounds like dime-store philosophy to me. I already know my values. My parents and grandparents bequeathed them to me. I imparted them to my children. They are good, solid, honest, kind, charitable values. I don’t sense the mayor shares them. She’s delusional. That doesn’t fit with my values.”

“Well, she was heavy on advice, on passing along her 44-year-old wisdom,” said New Encinitan Tract Holmes. “Wiki says she was born on Leap Year Day. Maybe that has something to do with her overconfident attitude. Anybody who celebrates a birthday every four years stands apart from others.”

“I get the same impression I used to get listening to Reagan,” said Leucadian Kant Cross. “She’s sincere. She believes her own bullshit. It’s an amazing thing. How convinced of your own virtue do you have to be to assume that other adults want your advice?”

“She’s done a good job keeping people informed about the virus,” said Old Encinitan Bote Houses. “I’ll give her that, but all her other accomplishment claims are bogus. She’s done the opposite of preserving and protecting Encinitas. She’s never seen a development she didn’t like. She’s never fought for the people. God save us from the queen.”