With a tip of her bonnet to Dale Carnegie, Encinitas City Attorney Margo Gonzalez has written and self-published a self-help book titled How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.
“There’s no better way to release a self-help book than to self-publish it,” said Gonzalez. “Anything else would be contradictory.”
Self-help books usually point out how people can improve themselves and their relationships with others. By doing that, the books assert, people will lead happier and more successful lives. Not so the Gonzalez book.
“Sure, I know other self-help books are about kissing ass,” said Gonzalez, “but mine is about kicking ass. Nobody’s going to get anywhere by brown-nosing and volunteering to get steamrollered. That’s a recipe for failure.”
Gonzalez acknowledges her approach is contrarian, but she has her justifications.
“Anyone who goes around sucking up to everybody gets no respect,” said Gonzalez. “It’s humiliating. It squashes your self-esteem. It makes you weak. To succeed in life, you have to be strong, you have to whip your enemies, you have to vanquish your foes. It’s not honorable competition. It’s dog eat dog, and the dog with the biggest teeth wins.”
Gonzalez says she didn’t get to be city attorney by being a pushover. To hold her position, and keep her handsome salary, benefits and pension, she says she has to maintain a defensive crouch. If challenged, she has to come out with both guns blazing.
“So, no, I’m not in the business of winning friends and influencing people,” said Gonzalez. “I take the opposite approach, and I recommend it to everybody. That’s what my self-help book is about.”
