Encinitas Organization’s Secret Password Revealed

“My grandpa told me about an olden-days TV show,” said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “It was called Lassie. It was about a boy, his collie dog and their family. They lived on a farm out in the country. 

“The dog’s name was Lassie,” said the source. “The boy’s name was Jeff and he had a friend named Porky. When the boys met, they yelled ‘Eee-Ya-Kee!’ from a distance as a greeting and a kind of password.

“I told the members of the Encinitas Equity Committee and the Encinitas4Equality organization about the show and the greeting,” said the source. “They all liked it, so we changed it a little bit and adopted it as our secret password. But we don’t yell it. We just enthusiastically say ‘Eee-4-Eee!’ as a greeting and to affirm we’re on the same team and have the same purpose.

“I don’t feel like a traitor for revealing the ‘Eee-4-Eee!’ password because it makes us inclusive,” said the source. “I think everybody should be on the E4E team and share our purpose. We should support our mayor and City Council because we know their good intentions. We know they sincerely want to level the playing field so everybody has the same opportunities and is treated with dignity and respect.

“We know our mayor and City Council members are all decent, unselfish people who always act for the good of the community,” said the source. “When we meet, all of us smile and enthusiastically say ‘Eee-4-Eee!’”

Local Activist Worried Over Alphabet Problem

“Naming the Covid variants by letters of the Greek alphabet is a good idea,” said local activist Larry Gomorka. It makes them easy to tell apart and lets you apply the right details to each. I understand the Delta variant is more contagious that the previous variant – was that Gamma? – and even some vaccinated people are getting infected with it.

“Now I’m reading about the Mu variant,” said Gomorka. “But what about all the Greek letters between delta and mu? There are seven. I could name them if you want. OK: epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda.

“What about those?” said Gomorka. “Why were they skipped? Is there some kind of discrimination going on there?

“Then there are 11 more letters between mu and omega,” said Gomorka. “I could name them if you want. OK: nu, xi, omicron, pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi. Omega is the end. What do you do after that? Go to letters in some other ancient language?

“I don’t know,” said Gomorka, “it’s all Greek to me.” 

Teenage Electric Bike Gangs Invade Encinitas

They’ve been called Little Wild Ones and Hell’s Angelitos. They’re teenagers on electric bikes!

Colorfully garbed and accessorized, gender and racially diverse, the unruly teenage electric bike gangs are recklessly roving Encinitas, disregarding stop signs, traffic signals, lane stripes and rules of the road.

The young rebels without a cause endanger pedestrians and traditional bicyclists, including the Spandex crowd. They thumb their snotty noses at cars, trucks and golf carts. They exceed sharrows and speed the wrong way on one-way streets.

Using alleys, driveways, backyards and little-known trails, the teenage misfits evade sheriff’s deputies and well-intentioned local vigilantes.

Lawlessness is not unknown in Encinitas, but it has never risen with such speed to such heights. Seemingly overnight, teenage electric bike gangs have taken over the city.

“Not my little darlings,” said Encinitas Mayor Catherine Blakespear. “My kids always colored within the lines, and that habit has transferred to their bicycling. I can’t account for irresponsible parents who let their kids run wild. I suggest residents voice their concerns to sheriff’s Captain Herbert Taft. Helicopter patrols and drone strikes could be in order.”

Decent, law-abiding citizens probably still outnumber teenage electric bike gang members. To regain control by suppressing lawless bicycling, those citizens can model their biking behavior on this city-produced video:

https://encinitasca.gov/Government/Departments/Public-Safety/Law-Enforcement/Electric-Bikes

Encinitas Mayor Calls for Supporters to Sign Whereas Pledge

Encinitas Mayor Catherine Blakespear has called for supporters to sign her Whereas Pledge as an authorization to continue her personal, politically ambitious, ultra-progressive agenda.

§ Whereas I, Catherine Blakespear, am the duly-elected mayor of Encinitas, I have the right to ignore any constituent who disagrees with me.

§ Whereas I am the mayor of Encinitas, I have the right to evade Proposition A and, further, to try to kill it.

§ Whereas I am the mayor of Encinitas, I have the right to sue residents who supported Proposition A and then pretend I didn’t sue them.

§ Whereas my campaigns are largely funded by the BIA and PACs, I have the right to favor their interests over those of my regular constituents.

§ Whereas I contend that increased density provides affordable housing and reduces greenhouse gas emissions, I can approve projects with a minimum of 80 percent market-rate housing that increase traffic congestion and GHGs.

§ Whereas I am the chairwoman of SANDAG and sit on several local and regional boards, I have the right to pursue my ultra-progressive agenda in those organizations.

§ Whereas I live in Cardiff, I can use my power and influence to bring benefits to that community while not doing so for other Encinitas communities. For example, I got a railroad quiet zone for Cardiff but not for downtown Encinitas or Leucadia.

§ Whereas I occasionally ride a bicycle, I can impose unsafe bicycle infrastructure throughout Encinitas to the disadvantage of motor vehicle drivers and then blame those drivers for collisions with bicyclists.

§ Whereas I know next to nothing about Leucadia, I can impose a Streetscape project there (estimated to cost in the neighborhood of $60 million) that will gridlock vehicle traffic and kill roadside businesses.

§ Whereas I am special, privileged and well-funded, I can run for the Senate seat in California District 36, fully expect to win, and proceed to pursue my personal, politically ambitious, ultra-progressive agenda in Sacramento.

§ Whereas I don’t want to cast negative light on myself during my Senate run, I can delete derogatory comments from my campaign’s Facebook page.